it's time...i am changing my dogs name to "lucifer, hound of hell". it's very official sounding i feel. is your life dull? are you in need of new surroundings? do you feel the need for terror and destruction? call luicfer, in days your home will be trashed, you will have an overwhelming need for new furniture, and you will now suffer a panic attack each and every time you must leave your home.let's start from the beginning.... i had to leave behind a great dog in va when i moved to hawaii due to his age, the required quarantine, and the insanely long journey to get here. his worst quality was trying to carpet my hard wood floors with his own fur, a personal sacrifice on his part as i see it.

well, after a few months here i got the "hankerin" for some furry companionship.i had the need for slobbery kisses and squeaky toys galore.wade tried hard to fill the void, but lets face it, as you know he's not very furry(hello bald), only drools in his drunken sleeps, and detests squeaky toys. so off we trotted to the local pound, and there was a tiny 7 week old ball of fur with a tail, milky brown eyes, and big feet.i was instasmitten, and we named him nalu.

fast forward 5 months...my perfect pup is a monster dressed as a dog. the running tally of things lost to his jaws and paws include:1 new bed(mattress AND box spring),1 i-pod, set of stereo equipment, 5 video games and 2 controllers, 1 shower curtain, 1 door, 1 WHOLE room of carpet, countless photographs and other easily shreddable paper stuffs, 3 pairs of oakely sunglasses,2 cell phones, 2 peoples sanity, oh and the partridge in the fuckin pear tree. our trainer says he suffers from separation anxiety. oh he will get used to it says she, or grow out of it...meanwhile when i come home nowadays, if the walls are still standing i am in fact pleasantly surprised.in my opinion, he has of course become possessed by satan himself, and i'm thinking of contacting the catholic church and beseeching them for an exorcism.my sanity is gone, my zest for life no more, this 50 pound animal has broken my soul....fuck you peta.