I have a solution to the new highly unpopular TSA gropings, er screening procedures, while I agree every measure must be taken to prevent sudden midair explosions, there are easier ways! The clear cut simple fix to the aforementioned junk grabbings is this:Fly Naked. By doing so a multitude of current airport issues could be solved:
1) Easy, quick passage through security...just squat , cough (jump thrice if extremely overweight) and proceed
2) Since muslims and most other terroristy religions forbid the sight of unclothed women, airports would thus become forbidden grounds as they could instantly and unwittingly send one to hell...thus eliminating the need for security all together
3) More nookie nookie (mile high club for all) less bomby bomby...this will also result in world peace as everyone will be too busy snogging to be bombing (instead of crappy snackpacks I suggest airlines pass out condoms...mixed nuts indeed)
4) Easy clean up of the passenger cabin...gone are the days of vacuuming a carpeted and cloth covered (read fart smell holding) seats, flying naked would mean plastic covered seats easy to hose floors...now upon passenger exit of said airbus, and simple solution of bleach and water can be sprayed over the cabin (those who would like may now disembark via the emergency (water) slide as an added bonus)
5) Plastic seats would make finding the token cabin farter easier...no more looking around for who ate the P.F Changs before departure...we all heard you...go on claim it
No longer would we have a First, Business or Coach class....nay, the new airlines will feature Hetro, Bi, or Homo sexual seating areas...all of course equal in size, legroom and seatbeds. No more window or aisle choices will have to be made, no one cares about the window here let's be honest...KY or Analease? Cum Fly the Friendly Skies!
